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Debra, Smarter Than The Average Woman


      In the film The Naked Gun, Ricardo Montalban's character, Vincent Ludwig, claimed that the most effective assassin is the person least suspected of being one. Although I find it tough to breathe when Debra's around, I don't believe that she's looking to end anyone's life. The truth is, whether you're looking to take out the Queen of England or trying to climb to the top of the ladder in the World Wrestling Federation, those who can hide their true motives will find it easier to achieve their goals.

      When Debra first entered the World Wrestling Federation, she presented herself as a savvy businesswoman who was going to use her intelligence to get to the top. Firmly planted at Jeff Jarrett's side, the blonde beauty even looked the part, always appearing in designer suits made to order for Wall Street or Madison Avenue.

      The one thing that everybody knew about Debra before she entered the World Wrestling Federation was that she was no stranger to gossip. It was no secret that the Southern belle had no problem doing a little investigative reporting in order to dig up some dirt on a prospective opponent. And she wouldn't think twice about revealing her findings... if it was going to propel her down the road to success.

      After a few months in the "big time", however, it became apparent that the only Debra was really interested in revealing was herself! At last December's Rock Bottom Pay-Per-View the beauty figured out what would send her straight to the top—and fast. Debra realized she had a passion for stripping and showing off her body! The fans in the sold-out General Motors Place in Vancouver, British Columbia, rose to their feet and roared with appreciation as they beauty got down to business. Unfortunately, just as the "puppies" were about to emerge from their under-wired doghouse for the first time, the Blue Blazer made the miserable decision to come to Debra's aid and covered her up before the brisk Canadian air could give her a chest cold.

      Although millions of men all over the world wanted the caped crusader's mask on a platter, the Blue Blazer's mindless actions didn't matter to Debra. Discovering that she enjoyed showing off her perfect body, Debra also knew she would be able to use her new hobby as a way to get what she wanted—everything!

      Debra wasn't suddenly into taking her clothes off just because it made the fans happy. By attempting to show her L'il Debbie cakes, she realized that she had thousands of Canadians ready to obey her every whim.

      And if the fans were hypnotized by her incomparable figure, why not the rest of the male-dominated World Wrestling Federation? When she debuted in the Federation, Debra's primary goal was to manipulate her way to the top—and with her new hobby she was in the express lane.

      The most brilliant part of Debra's strategy is that she tries her hardest never to appear to be more than just a body. You never hear her utter anything like "I want people to see past my looks and find out who I really am," or "beneath this exterior is a fascinating and intelligent woman".

      There seems to be a misconception among many women in today's society that if they want to be take serious and achieve success they can't simply be smokin' hotties. Take Pamela Lee, for example. This glorified adult/entertainer has less acting ability than Paul Bearer has athletic ability. However, by flaunting her massive mammaries every week in a bathing suit on the set of Baywatch, she became one of the most sough after celebrities in Hollywood. Now she wants to be seen as a serious mother and thespian. Pam has had her breast enhancements removed and replaced with smaller ones and now starts in a new crime-fighting drama called something like M.I.A., A.S.P.C.A., D.O.A. or... no, wait a minute, that's just what her career is these days.

      Intelligence is a very difficult thing to measure. While some people can solve the most difficult mathematical problem in less than 30 seconds, but have no idea how to socialize with other people. Their brilliance really does them very little good in their overall quest for success. Other people may not fit the text-book definition of "geniuses", but possess the ability to control how people perceive them by making their obvious physical advantages the most dominant part of their personalities.

      Debra knows that nobody in the world cares if her IQ is 20 or 200—her magic number is two. And the lady is riding her lucky charms all the way to the top.